Okay so it's been quite a while since I've posted anything here, but seeing as I have a couple hours without my little..... angels I thought I should start getting caught up. Kelly joined the army. That was the main reason we moved back to Provo so I could be around my family and have help with the boys while he is away for training. Still while I knew his date to report to training was coming closer and closer it didn't really seem real, until he left. Now it's very very VERY real. This has been the hardest thing I've ever had to go through and we're just getting started.
The first night he was gone, Dylan peed the bed twice. TWICE are you kidding me? I wanted to just go to bed and cry. But I got up, I changed his sheets and tried to hold it together. But the commotion of changing bedding for the second time woke up Christopher. At that point there really was no point in trying to go back to sleep, but I tried. For an hour plus Christopher threw a huge tantrum. He wouldn't stay in bed but was bent on sitting on the floor against their door yelling, "Mom, Mama, Mommy." I don't know I kept my eyes open the next day. I was exhausted.
The next day I was so excited when it was time to start getting the boys ready for bed. They were tired, I was tired, we all needed a good nights sleep. So after bath time they were all snug in their jammies and Christopher threw up. All over. With Chris, this isn't anything really new, he throws up usually once a week or more. But I don't do good when people throw up. Kelly is the vomit cleaner upper in our house and he was gone.
I quit keeping track after that because there's just been to much. I've cleaned up more vomit and washed more sheets in this past week than I did in a year. And throughout this I've been dying waiting for a phone call or letter or anything from Kelly. I miss him like crazy. We've been together 6 years and never gone more than a few hours without talking to each other. Now it's been just over a week and probably will be another before I hear from him. I'm feeling so over whelmed when I think about how little time has gone by compared to how much time is left. I'm trying so hard to focus on all the positive things that are going to come from this but right now I just miss my best friend.
The first couple of weeks is the hardest part. You'll find a "new normal" during his absence & you'll fit into the groove as nicely as you can. That doesn't mean it won't still be a hard, emotional journey...it definitely will. But during the first couple of weeks, ALL it is, is overwhelming! I remember feeling choked by the pressure. It was the hardest thing I ever experienced & I hope never to have to go through it again. But it does get a little bit easier, once you find your routine. If you ever want to talk or vent or anything, I'm here for you! Talk, text, email...whatever. :0 )
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